PSYCHVINE

Category: Letting Go

In the blog, Session 3.5, Dr. Smelt and Kimberly discovered that much of Kimberly’s anger with her boyfriend seemed to originate in grief and anger concerning her previous ex as well as her son. Sometimes people find that anger is easier to feel than sadness. But acknowledging what’s truly going on, helps pave the way toward more realistic, non-angry thoughts. They continue: “Hey, Dr. Smelt,” as Kimberly begins session four, “I wanted to tell you that last week’s session really…

During Kimberly’s second session (which appears in blogs labeled Session 2, Session 2.5, and Session 2.75), she endorsed a goal of learning to communicate more effectively with her boyfriend, Ray. She expressed ambivalence about another goal—looking at how her thinking may be causing her to feel excessive anger. Many people with anger problems demonstrate reluctance to accept responsibility for their behavior. However, Dr. Smelt was not entirely sure about the nature of Kimberly’s anger and where it may be coming…

In the previous session, Dr. Smelt discussed a few of the essential premises that underlie cognitive behavioral approaches to therapy. She also collaborated with Kimberly in coming up with a couple of goals for getting therapy started. “Good morning, Kimberly. How are you today? Have you had a chance to think about the goals we discussed last week?” Dr. Smelt asks. “Yes,” Kimberly replies, “in fact I had a situation last weekend that really got me mad that I’d like…

In several previous blogs, we discussed domestic abuse and violence. In the first blog, we reviewed common abusive behaviors known as gaslighting. The second blog discussed more examples of gaslighting behavior. Finally, we wrote on the topic of why people return to toxic relationships. The following TED talk by Leslie Morgan Steiner describes a moving account of one woman’s story.      

Police, social workers, and medical personnel who work with domestic violence victims frequently feel frustrated when they see abused victims return to their toxic relationships over and over again. Families and friends of abused victims can’t understand how someone they care about could possibly repeatedly make the same horrible decision. So just exactly why do people return to toxic, abusive relationships? There are actually a number of reasons such as: Feeling helpless and hopeless: Abusers almost always go after their…

In our last blog, we discussed a psychological phenomenon known as gaslighting. In brief, gaslighting refers to a wide variety of behaviors aimed at a target person in order to sow the seeds of self-doubt, insecurity, dependency, and inadequacy. Continuing from the earlier blog, here is another example: A gaslighter tells the victim something very illogical, but insists he is correct. He then inserts two or three outright lies within an overall string of truths.  Gaslighters sometimes misrepresent findings of…

1 2